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All I Can See
Hi, my first story. This is about Snape's love for Lily, I love that part in the book when you find out about their history together. An awesome couple. So sad though, anyways enjoy!--Goth MonkeyPiece by piece I lost my sainity to the penguins. 18:19, June 7, 2010 (UTC) Prologue I played on the small Muggle playground, alone as always. My parents were fighting again, I could see the smoke coming from our house. I hoped Mum and Dad weren't using their wands. I looked around for something to do. Games were only fun with someone to share them with. But no one ever came here, I was alone. I sighed. I couldn't, didn't want to go home. But there was no point in staying here. I got up from the forlorn swing I had been sitting on and began to walk away. Then I heard voice. Girl voices. I climbed up a tree that was near the edge of the playground. I wasn't into girls but at this point, I would play with anyone, anything. Besides, I could forget all about them at Hogwarts, I was going awa there in a month. By that time, I wouldn't need friends anymore. I would be a wizard. I could see through the leafy green foliage of the tree, two girls. One was rather unatractive, horse-faced, skinny, and blonde. She walked quickly, looking around as if she expected to be attacked any moment. Or like she was looking for something to spy on. Probably the second, she didn't seem like a witch. The other....she took my breath away. I almost fell out of my tree. I clung to the bark as if it could save me from falling under the spell of the girl who would later become Lily Potter. She was smiling unlike the other girl. She had a pretty face, red hair that fell down her back, gleaming in the sunshine. Her green eyes flashed, they had a friendly glow and I swear I could've fallen into them.... Both of them sat down on the swings, talking and shrieking as the flew higher and higher. Like a cat, I crept further along my branch, listening to their cnversation. "...Tuney, don't be rude. They're probably just having trouble at home-WOW! See how high I went?!" This was the cute one talking, her red hair flying around her face as she talked, first scolding and then in an excited tone. The other, who I guessed was 'Tuney' (what a name...) snnered. "Lily," I missed the rest of her sentence. I was now staring at the other girl. Lily...what a beautiful name. And it fit her. I looked back to the other girl to hear the end of her sentence. "Besides, everyone knows the Snapes are a lot of good for nothing losers! Especially the boy..." I fell out of the tree. They were talking about me. I guess I fell pretty hard because I blacked out. But the next thing I knew, I was staring into Lily's face. Normaly, waking up with someone right over you is frighting. But I merely sighed and smiled stupidly. She grinned back. I could see her sister in the background, though why I bothered to check I don't know. She grabbed my hand. "Come on, getting your butt wet won't help anything will it?" It took her hand and suddenly, everything else dissappeared. All I could see was her, grinning at me, her red hair falling over her shoulders as she helped me up, her green eyes sparkled. It was the first of many of our meetings together, most of which Petunia missed. It was the first of many times we talked, many times we attempted spells, many of the times we played together alone in our forlorn kingdom. But it was the first, the only time I had ever fallen in love. Chapter 1 I ran down the road as fast as I could. She was alreayd on the playground, holding the same thing I was. "You got it too!" she shrieked, brandishing her letter as if it was a wand. I smiled and nodded. Usually, I would have snorted and snapped, 'Of course I got it dimbo, I'm a wizard!" But this was Lily. Even if I had said that, she was quite capable of taking care of herself. We climbed up the gnarly old tree together, the tree I had first hidden in to spy on her, and read our letters together. I already knew what to expect so I just skimmed mine and watched Lily. Her long red hair fell across her shoulder and hid her face. I had a sudden urge to brush it away. But she would probably have hit me and she was reading so intently, I figured she would have killed me if I disturbed her. After five minutes I teased. "You read the letter yet? Honestly...." she glared at me but her green eyes were friendly and she snapped. "Actually, no, I was waiting to read it with you. I thought it would be more special if I read it with a friend!" she gave a huffy sugh and turned slightly aweay from me. But my head was in the clouds. She had called me her friend! I felt closer to her then I ever had. Then I closed my eyes and sighed. Was it wrong for me to want to be more then friends? I tapped her on the shoulder and murmered, "I'm sorry Lily, I didn't mean to-" She laughed and spun around and hugged me, "Of course I'm not mad silly!" she giggled. "You couldn't ever make me unhappy!" I smirked, "Wanna bet?" We spent the remainder of the day laughing and running around the playground, chasing eachother with sticks, pretending they were wands. It was only when I walked home alone, to a broken family in an old house with no one to really care for me, was it that I reliazed something that made me stop in my tracks. She had hugged me. My heart soared and I almost fell to the gritty sidewalk in shock and joy. "All right Severus?" I turned, Lily was still at the playground, watching me walk home, smiling, a knowing glint in her eye. I nodded and waved good bye, turning around so she wouldn't see exactly how big my smile was. Chapter 2 I ran through the crowds, my parents were alread leaving, I hadn't said good bye. They dodn't care, I didn't eather. Excitment mingled with urgency at what I was about to do. "Lily!" I called. She must have gone through the portal already. As fast as I could with a large trunk and two cats, I ran to the piller between platforms ten and nine. I ran through it, not even marveling at when I passed through. The large scarlet train waited paitently by the platform as students said good bye and hopped aboard. I spotted Lily quickly, I could find her anywhere. I rushed over and waited while she said good bye to her parents and her siblings. Petunia glared at me the whole time, not taking her eyes off me, even when Lily kissed her good bye. Then, spinning around, Lily whisked past me so fats I blinked for a moment and ran to catch her. "Lily! Lily wait!" She only walked faster. But I ran after her and grabbed her arm, making her stiffen and spin around. "I'm sorry!" I said sadly, "I didn't mean...I mean, I didn't want..." I knew her well enough to know she was trying to look angry but her eyes were sad. "Yeah, me neither Sev. But these things happen don't they?" he had continued walking together, hopping aboard the train. I grabbed a compartment up front and let Lily pass in first. Sge grinned at me but it was hesitant and it slipped off her face. She slumped in a seat and I put our trunks on the luggage rack. "Oh Sev.....I'm sorry I dragged you in to this. Tuney is....well." she sobbed into her hand and I rushed over next to her. She cried and leaned against me, "She called me...a f-freak!" I growled and if I had actually known any curses I might have tried to jump off the train and find Petunia. "You're not a freak! She's the-" but Lily only sobbed harder. I sighed. I had been planning to give her her present when we got to the school but now seemed a good as time as any. I reached into the luggage rack, feling Lily's eyes looking at me. I pulled down the two cats. I tried to make them look like us, one was black furred with blue eyes like me. The other was ginger with green eyes, like Lily. Lily let out a small gasp. "Oh Sev...." I handed her the black one., "He's yours! I told her smugly. She looked at me happily, "Thank you so much! I'm gonna call him....Nighty." I smiled. Typical girl name. Then she caught me off guard, "What's your cats name?" she asked, still looking at Nighty. I stuttered, "Uh...um...Peach." she rolled her eyes and grinned at me. Then she leaned in, closer, closer, like she was going to- The compartment door banged open and our kiss forgotten. I looked up, my cat, I had named it Lily, looked into the eyes of the two intruders. Chapter 3 Lily the cat and Nighty both jumped onto the luggage rack hissing as the two boys entered the compartment. I took the chance to scoot nearer to Lily who was glaring at the boys. They talked loudly and laughed for a moment and then turned to look at us. "Look James! Aren't they cute?" laughed one of the boys. He had black hair and blue eyes like me, but his hair was more untamed and his eyes were friendlier then mine. The other boy, black hair with brown eyes and glasses nodded. But his eyes were on Lily who blushed. I growled, "And who are you two exactly?" The boy with glasses mimed a bow, "James Potter and Sirius Black at your service Grease-Head. You?" Sirius snorted, "Aren't you that kid....Snape? Severus Snape? Whose parents have been told off by the Minestry nine times for jinxing Muggles when they fight?" Potter laughed, Lily raised her hand as if she was going to hit Siruis. I merely looked at the boy. "Oh! Aren't you the same Sirius who's brother was spotted trying to kill a Muggle a few months ago?" Siruis snarled. I looked at him innocently and for the rest of the trip, Black and Potter talked together on their seats, Lily and I on ours. But on the way out of the compartment to buy some food from the trolly, Potter tried to trip me and Black punched me in the gut when I walked back in. We just glared at eachother then, deep hatred forming in each of our minds. Lily just stroked her cat and stared at the ground. I thought it would never end but finally the words I had waited to ehar my whole life echoed around the train. "And here we are young student! Hogwarts!" Chapter 4 I shiver. The classroom, though quite crowded, is very cold. I can't wait for the Sorting, and yet, I hope I never see it. I know I'll go to Slytheren. Everybody thinks that House is bad. That's never bothered me before. Until now. Lily'll get put somewhere else if half of the rumors about Slytheren are true. She's better then this, better then any of us. She deserves a good House. So Lily will go elsewhere, then she'll hear all the whispers, all the rumors, and slowly she'll staart to hate me. Everyone hates Slytheren. And no one had better be stupid enough to confess they hate Lily. We're marched by a grim faced professor with a thin lip and narrowed eyes to a huge room. I gape. My parents never had time to tell me about the granduar of Hogwarts but I knew from the books that this was the Great Hall. I had no time to admire the four silent tables of wide eyed students, the high table where all of the teachers sat, some smiling at us broadly, one or two glaring, or the starry skied ceiling that portayed the sky. The professor marched us over to a stool in the center of the hall. I saw her flash a smile at a trembling Lily and I decided whoever she was, I liked her. She stood next to the stool, on which perched a moldy, patched, old, hat. The hat beghins to sing a song but I let my mind wander. Finally its over. The stony faced professoe began calling out students. They each tried out the hat and it would shout out the name of the House they would be in. One of the first to be called up was the long haired boy, Sirius Black. He was sorted into Gryffendor, he looked immensly relieved as he ran off stage. The girls all looked at him and batted their eyes and he nodded at them, smiling arrogantly. I growled. But my attention was focused iuntently on the stool next because- "Evans, Lily!" Chapter 5 I stared at the hat as if it was the only thing in the world. Lily looked at me before starting over to the stool. I nodded at her. Go on. She sat down, the hat had barely touched her head when it cried, "GRYFFENDOR!" cheering erupted in one of the tables and polite applause tittered around the rest of the Hall. But I heard none of it. Suddenly, the ground between the Slytherin and Gryffendor tables seemed like a huge magical barrier, impossible to cross. I only snapped out of my trance when the Potter boy was called. I tripped him as he went past nand he went down. The crowd erupted in laughter. He got up and grinned, bowing. But he kicked me as he went to the stool. My eyes watered in pain but I still managed to pray, "Please, put him anywhere, just not in-'' "GRYFFENDOR!" I swore. Now Lily was stuck with that thing. I was next after a few frightened students who both became Hufflepuffs. I shoved the hat on my head, angry, pained tears were still streaming down my face. A little voice whispered inside my head. ''What have we here? Ah, a Snape. I remember your father well young man. Now..let's see...a fierce ambition...strong desire to prove yourself...cunning and cleverness...well then it'd better be-WAIT! What's this? Why do you want to be in Gryffendor? Ah, I see. Lily Evans will most certainly not forget you if you are in the House you belong in, I assure you. Now, you are in and it yelled, SLYTHERIN! I tore the hat off my head, tears falling openly now. I marched towards the cheering table, ignoring James and Sirius as they pointed at me, pretending to bawl. I even could not see Lily's face, could not hear her hurt cry of "Sev!" over the sad thumping of my heart. Chapter 6 "Amazing Snape, brilliant! you and Evans work as fine partners for being from different Houses. Both of you are simply extrordinary at Potions!" Slughorn beamed at me and my gorgeous partner. Lily laughed. "Only because you taught us!" she said in a sing song tone. Slughorn chuckled and moved on. As he moved, I saw James Potter glaring at me and Lily. Sirius was next to him, Lupin and Pettigrew behind. All four stared at us, none more hostily then the first. Lily didn't seem to notice. I stuck my tongue out at Potter and delibratly pulled Lily's hair back. She smiled at me. Potter made for his wand but I turned away as I heard Slughorn approach him. "Potter, no wands in class. 10 points from Gryffendor. And show me your work, you have shown me nothing today." I figured Potter would get me back but I couldn't care less. I bent back over my work with Lily. I hurried out of class as soon as it was done, Lily by my side. I looked back over my shoulder. Potter was storming out of class. Students much older then him pressed themselves against eachother to make room for him and his three, equally enraged friends. I pushed Lily, who had also glanced back into the hall at the group, into the library. Lily whispered, "Do you think they'll follow us? I'm kinda scared, they looked ma-ad." I tried to be a serious as I could, "No, I don't think any of them except Lupin has been here. Or even knows what a library is." And maybe it was just the heat of the situation or sheer joy at out first adventure together, we both collapsed on the floor, laughing and clutching eachothers arms. It was a week later, I sa in the library with Lily. We were doing our homework. Or at least she was. I sat, watching her dreamily. She caught my gaze. "What?" I was saved from having to answer by the arrival of new people in the library. Lupin walked in, rather animal like. Slinking and skulking. I was intrigued. That was not usually his style. He caught my eye and opened his mouth in shock. But then some nitwitted third year ran up to me. "How long til the full moon? It's for divination." he said breathlessly, hoplding a quill and parchment nervously. I stared at him, "O-only a week." I said, my gaze falling back to Lupin. A small, ludicrous idea formed in my head as both Lupin and the boy hurried off. Lily touched my arm though and I went back to work. Chapter 7 Lily didn't understand why now I spent all my time in te library, even when we didn't have homework, reading or spying on Lupin. She thought I was obsessed. Tell truth, I was. But she didn't have to know that. First Year had passed without much happening. It was almost the end of year, Lily and I sat in the library, she studying for exams, her beautiful green eyes skimming books, looking for help on the abnormal amount of homework we were recieving in every class. I too turns, spying on Lupin, then her. She caught my gaze a few times but said nothing. When we left, she was quieter then usual. I wasn't sure what to think of it. Exams passed easily. Lily and I both stressed the night before. We left the Exam Hall sighing happily. I had hoped that James and Sirius would fail, but they passed everything. Lily and I often spent the days lying toggether under a tree next to the lake, watching the sky. Or she watched the sky. I watched her. It was the day before the end of school, Lily and I had already made plans for the summer together and just when I thought my days couldn't be better, James and Sirius had the genuis idea. Lily and I were walking over the sweeping grass to go to our tree. As we settled down, a leaf fell on my robes. Then a branch. I looked up in time to see Sirius and James jumping down. Unfortunatly, their aim was off and they hit Lily instead of me. I don't think I've ever seen so many curses placed on two people. I laughed with Lily as they ran to the hospital wing. Or crawled in Jame's case. I hopped off the train with Lily, we walked home together, first year done. Chapter 8 Second year, my mother had told me, was the worst year. First Year, everything's new, third year you get new classes, fourth year is like your last year if being a kid, fifth year is O.W.L.s, sixth year is N.E.W.T classes, and last year, seventh year, is the end. So my hopes weren't high. And I was right. Second year passed like the curses James and Sirius so often shot at my head. Before I knew it, it was exams, then time to leave. But as I left the train, I reliazed something. Second year was important. I hadn't really noticed it before, but this year, all of the girls had been picking guys they were going to like, the guys picking the girls they were going to flirt with. I wondered if that made a big differnce to Lily. Probably, she had never shown liking to any guy before, except to me as a friend. I was glad for the head start. It didn't make a big difference to me. I had the person I loved picked out for years. And I had no intention to change it. Chapter 9 Third Year changed everything. It was then that I started to seek the friendship of others in my House, Lily, hers. I hadn't really noticed, but Slytherin hated me. Mostly because my best friend was a Gryffendor. When I tried to remind them that in the days of the Founders, Slytherin and Gryffendor had been best friends. They responded by throwing me in the lake. It wasn't until mid-winter that I managed to change their minds. Mary McDonald was sitting outside the Dungeons where we were finishing up Potions. I was arguing with Luicius Malfoy and Bellatrix Black over weither or not I had the guts to curse someone. Of course I didn't have to be arguing with the losers but Bella probably would've cursed me if I didn't. I sighed, annoyed that they were wasting my time. Bellatrix glared at me, her heavy lidded eyes more frightening then any thing I knew. "Prove it Snivillus!" she snarled. "Curse....that! The Half-Blood!" I turned and saw her long nailed finger was pointing at a now paralyzed with fear Mary. I stared at Bella, managing a small nervous laugh, "You don't really-" Her wand flashed out from her pocket. I knew it as well as the next student. It was the most thing the paitents in the hospital wing saw before the white of their new sheets and Madam Pomfry. Well, better Mary then me. I turned, not sure what I was going to do. I think I meant to say Sactrumsepa, a curse to make the cursee's nose start to bleed. But for some reason I shouted, "Sectumsempra!" Bella shrieked in delight as Mary screamed, a large cut on her chest appearing, blood spilling out. I backed away. I couldn't have done this.... By now, the corridors were full of students returning from their classes. Usually amidst the flickering torch-light, shadows and voices mingled. But now it was silent. Everyone was just staring. At. Me. I saw James Potter and Black smirking at me, they probably thought that I was gonna get expelled. Which I probably was. Still, they were gits. But....no. Staring at me, was a furious Lily Evans, her red hair seemed to be on fire, her eyes...oh her eyes were beautiful yet territfying. It was then I remembred she and Mary were friends. "*****" I muttered. Chapter 10 "Please!" "No." "Please!" "NO!" Lily rounded on me, green eyes flashing in complete fury. The whole corridor watched. I would've been embarressed but right now I was torn enough between fury at Lily's gaze or love at the beauty of her anger. What she said next made me focus mainly on her anger. "You're a sick, twisted monster! I can't believe you would curse a good person like Mary to make friends and impress scum like them!" she jerked an angry hand at Bellatrix and Luicius, both of which usually would've hexed her, but were too shocked now. Bella muttered something that sounded like 'udbud'. I didn't focus on it tohufgh, Lily was still in a rage. "And I have no idea how I ever was friends with you! You can't just walk around the halls cursing people! I can't believe I even thought I liked-" she stopped there, her face red. But I had a feeling not all of it was from anger. But my heart was light. She had liked me? As a friend of course, but did she mean....? She turned abrubtly, "See you later Sev." and walked down the hall which I took to mean that I was slightly forgiven. On the way down the hall, James Potter called out to Lily, "Go Evans! Beat that slimeball!" his friends hooted with laughter but Lily slowly pivoted until she was facing him. She was almost taller then he. That made me want to laugh. In a slow and scathing voice she told James, "You are a much bigger git then Severus Snape ever was, is, or will be." then she walked away leaving Potter in a stunned silence and the rest of us hooting with laughter opr taking bets on who Lily would end up with, me or Potter. I wasn't surprised most of the bets were on me. As I walked to my next class, I grinned at Potter, "See ya git." he lunged at me, face red with rage but there was a bang. I turned, seeing Bellatrix Lestrange pointing her wand at Potter who now had tentacles growing out of his face. She nodded at me and I knew I wasn't alone. Life was good. Chapter 11 "I don't wanna." I whispered. It was 3 months later and school was almost out. Potter's tentacles had taken almost two weeks to remove and I was torn between happiness and complete fear at what retaliation was in store for me. Lily and I were friends again, possibly even a little more. Sometimes she'd come out of a long day of History of Magic (her least favorite class* and throw her arms around me. Sometimes when I was feeling down I'd talk to her and she'd give my hand a gentle squeeze. I was eccasstic. But I think to her this was just friend stuff, she had told me what she said in the dungeons that day was that she liked me as a friend. She had no clue how different my opinion of her was. So anyways, third year was drawing to a close and our teachers seemed to think we needed to learn some advanced magic, or at least attempt it. We were in our last Defense Against the Dark Arts class of the year, learning Patronui. We had been working on them all week, mine was ready for inspection by our Professor, Professor Sisly. She was a kind hearted, stout witch with wavy, short brown hair and blue eyes. It wasn't that my Patronus wasn't ready, it was perfect, corpural. But....well, Lily had shown hers first. Yesterday actually. It had been a doe. My patronus, which had been a bat which I will never ever admit to anyone, had suddenly changed overnight to become a doe as well. I didn't want her to see it, legend was that if you loved someone enough, your patronus changed somehow to go with theirs. Professor Sisly asked again and I sighed. The whole class was watching now. Looking straight at Lily, I waved my wand. "Expecto Ptronum." The brilliant silver doe raced out of my wand, cantered to the end of the room, then back, stopping in front of Lily. It stared at her with sightless blue eyes, almost mourfully. I lowered my wand and it became mist. Lily stared at me, her green eyes were sad. No one spoke, everyone seemed to be in a state of shock. Then, with an evil grin James Potter loudly declared, "Snivillus loves Evans!" As the room erupted into laughter I ran. Chapter 12 I stayed away from Lily all through the rest of the school year and that summer. A harder task then it sounds as all I wanted to do (besides murder James Potter in a horrific way) was to be with her and she kept trying to corner me so wse could talk. On the last day of school she even got as desperate as to hide in the boys bathroom. Which cost Gryffendor about 500 points when the teachers found out which ended up causing Syltherin to get the House Cup. And all my Housemates to congragulate me on being the 'reason' Slytherin won. On the train ride home, I sat in my own compartment, knowing rumors were spreading around the train of me hexing a kid when he tried to sit next to me. As soon as we got home, I jumped off the train and ran to my parents for the first time I can remember. We left quickly and I didn't see Lily again until Fourth Year. Which is a lie. I saw her. When she tried to climb into my room at night to talk to me, when she chased my dad as he went off for work. All those things. But I never had contact with her. Fourth year came and went without much happening, it was fifth year that pretty much ruined what little parts of our relationship were left. Chapter 13 I was determined to stay away from her, and I did. Right up until it was the beginning of summer, our O.W.L.s were over. I remember that day, it was warm and sunny More later! Category:Fan Fics Category:Arti's Fanfics